Connection

My thoughts for today are on connection, why is it so important to us humans?

As we come to the beginning of the third year of this covid pandemic as we've heard it referred to. I like to call it "the time the whole world changed" I think as a whole we were all affected by how we look at human touch and connection. We spent time quarantined away from our peeps, family, friends, clients, employees etc. All of us were affected clear across the board. Young, not so young, healthy, not so healthy born and unborn, here, there and everywhere. At first I didn't think too much of staying home, it was kind of nice. like everyone I’m sure, we stayed home and glued to our TV. As time went on I noticed a change in my family, things that were taken for granted, like feeling under the weather, washing hands, clearing a throat, coughing, hugging, shaking hands, any kind of touch, everything had changed. It took some time but eventually I made the changes and continued life.

As the state opened back up I no longer felt like I fit in, or better said I didn't know how to show up in the world. My mask kept my smiles hidden and my voice muffled, 6 feet distancing kept me form connecting or even trying to make an effort. I'm sure we all have gone through this in one way or another. As I went back to work, out and about, the most common point/subject that has come up is "how do we connect" in this new normal? No matter how many of us think we can make all the changes needed to keep this new world at bay, we still need connection as humans. So with that said I wanted to share a story. I think it will resonate with some of you, if not all of you.

March 3, 2000 I came to America with my children, 2 credit cards and $5. I spoke broken English, no money at the time and no way of getting some.I was still nursing my baby, half starved & super thin, scared, and alone, in a country that was so foreign to me. Not to mention nine little mouths to feed. I had no idea about the new world I had just escaped to. But…Believing I was home in some kind of strange way.

After getting settled in a townhome I rented after borrowing the down payment and first month's rent. I set out to get my first client for housecleaning. My older boys had gotten hired to do drywall, the rest of my children 6 years of age and older were enrolled in public school. For the first time in our lives school was an option. I remembered the highlight of my day was going to the mailbox to get "my mail". I was astonished to find so many pieces of mail addressed to me. "Pamela Jones" as I'd go through the mail I would get so excited, on every piece it said "Pamela Jones" someone was thinking about me, I just knew it! they wanted me to have the deal of 2 burgers for the price of one. Or gutter cleaning, I didn't know what a gutter was at that time but I was sure if I had one it needed to be cleaned. I looked at all the pictures, I read as best I could each and every piece, and as I did I felt more and more joy. I felt like I mattered to whoever was at the other end of this mail. truly my tummy flipped with excitement to see that so many people had thought of me. I had left everything and everyone I knew back in the colony. Now I have a whole community of people I've never met writing to me everyday. As I started to make the changes to adapt to my new life, I felt that I mattered and someone was always thinking about me. No matter how lonely it would get or how hard I would try to understand America, I always felt I belonged and my new found friends liked me so much that they would tell their friends about me and soon I'd get mail from them as well.

Fast forward 22 years, I still think upon that time and smile. It changed my life, and helped me more than words can say, to feel important enough to so many and they wanted me to know it! I should mention that It wasn't too long before a few of those friends wanted me to give them some of my information, which I did then I'd get to use their money, for a small price of 28% interest of course, 18 cards later, a whole lot of money and phone calls. I found out they were not that friendly after all. I'd learned that the hard way soon enough. Yes, yes I eventually learned about the junk mail of America too. Lol! But at that time on my journey of my life I really needed to know that I mattered and belonged. I was connected to a new tribe and that felt so good. So many times I've thought about that time and remember it as one of the few times I felt that I really mattered to someone.

Now here in the aftermath of COVID19 and all, I've been thinking, how can I make others feel like they matter or that they were thought of, or better yet, they belong and are not alone? I don't think "junk Mail " is the answer. Lol! So as I Finish up this message that might have turned into a book ;-} I'm encouraged to do whatever it takes to make others know they matter, I'm here to do life with them, rather it's a kind word or mindful conversation, thoughtful messages, cards, high fives/hugs or whatever they're comfortable with, a gift to lighten their day. Encouragement, cheering up, a shoulder to cry on or rest their head, or a few bucks to fill their gas tanks. I know it will help. Because it helped me so long ago (no matter who's at the other end of it) it changed my day, my week and my life.